NO TAX FOR NON-DOMS

PSST... YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE HERE.
BUT LET'S ALL PRETEND WE DO.

The infamous tax evader, Mrs Trellis of North Wales, who admits to interposing a tax-haven “service company” between her and her £27,000 a year job managing the canteen at BBC Caernarfon, and issuing sham E-invoices, today announced that she is changing her nationality to become a citizen of Andorra and has bought, on a pay-weekly-contract, a grave-plot there to “prove” her tax-domicile. In fact, Mrs Trellis will also keep her UK Passport and have dual nationality. By pretending to spend 90 days a year living in Douglas, Isle of Man – less than 50 miles across the sea from her home in Snowdonia – the UK tax authorities and courts will define her as a non-resident for tax purposes – and, as they do for many thousands of top UK people, will happily classify any money she imports from her Off-Shore company into Wales as non-taxable “CAPITAL”.  Prime Minister David Cameron and Chancellor George Osborne said “Most of our friends have off-shore arrangements; it is perfectly acceptable. Britain and The City must welcome and be a safe haven for overseas investors, like Mrs Trellis”.

Mrs Trellis’s controversial decision to “go Non-Dom” this week coincides with French billionaires, Bernaud Arnault and Baron Edouard de Rothschild, who are considering giving up their French nationalities to become Belgian and Israeli citizens respectively – to live in Monaco tax free. French citizens in Monaco pay French taxes.  

Mrs Trellis issued a statement saying “We entrepreneurial citizens of The Free Markets, who keep the wheels of commerce turning, must act in concert against the creeping evils of socialism. I work hard for my money – and I intend to keep it. Or, you’ll be telling me next to pay for all those so-called disabled Paralympians, lazy students and benefit scroungers …who ATOS has proved are fit to work down the mines – like my Dad did”.