FISCAL CLIFF - PHONE YOUR CONGRESSMAN

 “Oh No – Not… The Fiscal Cliff”. Does a “cliff” fiscal or otherwise, create an image of a mountain to be climbed or a chasm to be descended?

In either case it sounds like an unwelcome and maybe dangerous impedance to our joint journey with President Obama’s America to “The Best That is To Come”.

Pay the whole $16 trillion fiscal deficit by repatriating the $21 trillion tax-haven assets; which grow by $1 trillion a year. One trillion dollars is all the liquidity /cash surplus earned annually by the entire world's workforce. To share in it, you should have been a bent bookkeeper.

What is this new threat to our peace of mind, our plan for a quiet nap or early retirement or our secret ambition for world domination, or simply getting a job at Wal-Mart? Journalists, economists and commentators are breathlessly prophesying the end of all things, Armageddon, chaos, a plague of dandruff – and far, far worse. Your $170K a year elected representatives who should be fixing it are sleeping off their Christmas cheer - many of them in sunny tax-havens. Phone them - and tell them to get back to work, to cooperate and to stop acting like spoilt kids.

This threat to world peace is in fact just another hysterical round of political slapstick between the Democrats and Republicans who are flapping about like a Big Girl’s Blouse (British rugby-players’ put-down of wimps) because they have all decided to reduce the USA’s tax collecting and spending (fiscal) deficit.

The tax budget is currently running an overdraft of $16 Trillion (Sixteen-thousand-billion or $16,000,000,000,000) which is about $140,000 per US household. Most of the overdraft is spent keeping the military in the luxurious $3.6 Trillion a year manner they have become accustomed to – so the overdraft is only 4.5 times the military budget; some consider it a reasonable price for Homeland security.

It is a big debt and one day it ought to be paid off; …but when? Every few years some tedious little bean-counters - people who have cash-tins in their kitchens for Rent, Electricity, Bus-Fares, Hershey Bars and so on; clerical types who have no debts and live frugally - lobby government to balance the books and to spend no more than they receive. These old fashioned, threadbare folk have common-sense and God on their side – and a few have large, personal, inherited trust-fund fortunes that, in America, confer an unquestionable Saintliness, irrespective of how the money was made.  The frugal types eventually wear down the politicians – who, every twelve years or so, reluctantly promise to “tackle the fiscal deficit”.

The next deadline for keeping such promises is 1st January 2013. Automatic changes to higher tax rates and big spending cuts will kick in unless the Republicans and Democrats kiss and make up. Economists predict these actions will plunge The World into deep recession.

Nobody wants to personally contribute a single dime to pay off the deficit – but all are agreed it must be paid. The 435 members of The House of Representatives will line up their opposing gangs of 234 Republicans and 194 Democrats, hoist their designer handbags, sharpen their polished nails and have a set to – a fight to the finish, or till coffee-break – whichever is the sooner. While this unseemly melee lasts, these allegedly mature, responsible, intelligent politicians will, on behalf of their voters, cripple government. They will flex their underused pallid muscles, smooth back their coiffures and bravely and determinedly go on strike. No civil servant’s wages – no telephone bills – no heating costs – no Exocet Missiles – no White House crunchy nut biscuits – no Debt Interest - will be paid.

America will be closed for business until, confused and exhausted the protagonists finally flounce off in a huff and leave the mess to be cleaned up by a Federal Commission. It will be a terrible battle with hundreds of casualties. Tragically, many designer handbags will be scratched and may have to be binned.

How could they avert the War – What else could they do?

Applying existing tax-laws, circumventing The House, the government could collect all the tax-haven funds which – coincidentally are globally $21 Trillion growing by $1 Trillion a year – with $16 Trillion probably siphoned from America's businesses. Former Governor Mitt Romney, worth $200 million, will lead the Intelligence Services to the off-shore hoards; for example his $34 Million stashed in Cayman; where, in 2008, President Obama found thousands of US business (false) nameplates on one small office wall. Most tax-haven funds are gouged from the US economy via sloppy, incredible, illegal, criminal, ENRON style bookkeeping and can quickly, easily and legally be clawed back. The CIA, FBI and military intelligence know where the assets are - and will repatriate them for a modest share - or from their deep love for America. If you don't believe the laws exist - ask Al Capone; or ask a lawyer such as Barak Obama.

In the meantime – all world trade, banking and business will stop until Barak Obama and Sarah Palin have a warm hug in the White House – and Hell Freezes Over. We should all dig-in for a long bleak midwinter.

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